Chronic Ruination

I’m so glad the semester is final over!! My course load wasn’t that bad.

It’s just that for some reason, professors/instructors/t.a.’s think that their students want to hear them talk about their cat, their piece of shit car, or whatever else matters to them.  If any of you reading my blog are college/university faculty and are guilty of this, find a fucking outlet!!

I don’t care what it is.  Looking at porn on university computers and jerking off before you give a lecture is classic and effective!! I don’t know why I bothered going to class half the semester because almost all of the lectures would end up going this way.  Before I sent my laptop to hell by spilling a Caramel Macchiato on it, I’d spend most of my time in class on Perezhilton.com.

It’s a celebrity gossip blog type thing, like TMZ. That’s not my thing most of the time, but Perez is like the male,fat, gay, Cuban version of me!  He’s such a cunt….and I love him for it!

I love him even more for this. Check out the entire post here. His wife, Posh Spice says that thing is like an exhaust pipe!!

Take note boys…if you don’t look like this half-naked, the only thing you can do for me is listen outside the door and whine to be let in while I play with someone who does!

If you’ve got a significant amount of sagging going on in the front of your tighty whities… maybe something pink and silky is more your thing.  I’m just being honest!

If I’m hooking up with a guy and I find out he has a dick deficiency, I can’t even look at him sexually. Game over, instantly! It’s amusing, really because it seems like the more inches they are away from 8….the harder they try!  Let me just say for the record, most girls that are under 160 lbs, and that aren’t under the influence of roofies are not going to hook up with a 5 incher!  There are some exceptions, they’re probably Mormons, but there are exceptions I guess.

So why not, give me a little entertainment?  If you’re 30 and over and 5 inches and under, leave a comment.  Let me know what your sex life has been lik, or how expensive it’s been . I need somthing to laugh about and I’m sure there are plenty of like-minded ladies who will  get a good laugh at your nano-dicks too.

Between TOS violations and messing it up myself, this is my 10th blog in less than a year!!  So I’m back…again!!!  Anyway, onto more interesting stuff.

First things first…

It’s my b-day on the 23rd!!!  I want 2 of whatever you got your wife, mom, girlfriend or that tranny that you pay 200 “kisses” to every month . Kidding. Sort of. Not really.

I’m starting to realize how hard it is to be a cocksucker.  I’ve never seen Brokeback Mountain and I’m watching it right now.  The part where Ennis says, “I’m not queer” not too many scenes after he roasts Jack’s rump just made giggle a little!!!  Reminds me of a certain senator, ex-senator whatever.  I’m as much aware of his job status as he’s aware of his…..

Well, I’m going to leave that alone…for now.

If you’ve read any of my previous blogs before they got deleted, you’ll know that I’m always bitching about lame little fuckers always on the lookout for free wank material.  I mean, I’m not stupid…there’s some of you jerking right now reading this blog just because it’s Sunday, you’re bored, and you’re addicted to how your dick feels sliding in and out of your own hand.  No real arousal necessary!!  It’s like thumbsucking or a security blanket almost…LOL!  Fucked up but true.

But it’s cool….guys like that make me smile a little.  Guys like Larry Craig make me smile a little too..then laugh, then give pointers just to see how far they’ll REALLY go!!  I’m sure some of you have thought about what it’s like to hook up with another man.  But you’re not “queer”…of course not. I’m going to give out both a free assignment and, possibly, some free wank material.  If you’re just idly jerking and you get an extra tingle after reading the article linked below,I want to know!!!  If you’re not fucking your fist and you read this and you get a tingle.  I want to know!!

I came across this article about the “alleged” patron saint of closets, knee pads and back doors, Mr. Craig. Please make sure you catch the line about how he “allegedly” told one of the guys that he could buy and sell him 1000 times over and stuffed a $20 bill in the guys pocket.  LOVE , LOVE, LOVE that; if the “allegations are true at least .  $20 worth of legal, tender afternoon fun and being able to buy and sell that legal, tender ass 1000 times over! Allegedly.

It’s HARD being a cocksucker!  It’s must be even HARDER being a cocksucker AND dodging  those advances from public servants in public bathrooms.  Don’t worry, I’m here to help!!  Out yourself here…register…leave a comment!! I’ll have a button up in a bit so you can give me a call or arrange one and we can see if you’re queer or not.  It’s not  hard…at least not once it’s over .