Chronic Ruination

I had a VERY interesting day on the phone today…

As usual, I get a slut on the phone whose Y chromosome left him a little short-handed.   I never like for these boys to tell me initially just how tiny it is I love building up to it; I like the shock!

Size is so subjective.  My tiny is probably what you consider small. Everytime a guy tells me he’s less than 5 inches rock hard, I don’t automatically think about how worthless he must be sexually.  It makes me wonder what’s wrong with the rest of him, then I think about how worthless he is in bed!!

Thinking in terms of natural selection, actually getting to breed, passing on genes, etc… the most genetically superior members of a species have the most symmetrical, well-formed physical characteristics.  Short and malformed appendages are just one big neon sign that the person may not be who you want to pair up with to make babies…or for  any other reason.

The slut on the phone with the not-so big neon sign between his legs told me that he actually does have a condition called micropenis that causes him to basically have just a nub!!!  Considering the things he told me about his sex life, I thought he was just trying to make me laugh, but he wasn’t.

I still laughed, but not nearly as hard when I googled micropenis and came up with this awesome article. I wonder if he realizes how truly hilarious his question is.  Check it out, and if it sounds like you…give me a call!!  Don’t be a victim of your nub!!  I can find some alternate uses of your sexuality or lack there of!!  I’ll be on around 4am EST, maybe before if downtown sucks tonight.

I’m so glad the semester is final over!! My course load wasn’t that bad.

It’s just that for some reason, professors/instructors/t.a.’s think that their students want to hear them talk about their cat, their piece of shit car, or whatever else matters to them.  If any of you reading my blog are college/university faculty and are guilty of this, find a fucking outlet!!

I don’t care what it is.  Looking at porn on university computers and jerking off before you give a lecture is classic and effective!! I don’t know why I bothered going to class half the semester because almost all of the lectures would end up going this way.  Before I sent my laptop to hell by spilling a Caramel Macchiato on it, I’d spend most of my time in class on Perezhilton.com.

It’s a celebrity gossip blog type thing, like TMZ. That’s not my thing most of the time, but Perez is like the male,fat, gay, Cuban version of me!  He’s such a cunt….and I love him for it!

I love him even more for this. Check out the entire post here. His wife, Posh Spice says that thing is like an exhaust pipe!!

Take note boys…if you don’t look like this half-naked, the only thing you can do for me is listen outside the door and whine to be let in while I play with someone who does!

If you’ve got a significant amount of sagging going on in the front of your tighty whities… maybe something pink and silky is more your thing.  I’m just being honest!

If I’m hooking up with a guy and I find out he has a dick deficiency, I can’t even look at him sexually. Game over, instantly! It’s amusing, really because it seems like the more inches they are away from 8….the harder they try!  Let me just say for the record, most girls that are under 160 lbs, and that aren’t under the influence of roofies are not going to hook up with a 5 incher!  There are some exceptions, they’re probably Mormons, but there are exceptions I guess.

So why not, give me a little entertainment?  If you’re 30 and over and 5 inches and under, leave a comment.  Let me know what your sex life has been lik, or how expensive it’s been . I need somthing to laugh about and I’m sure there are plenty of like-minded ladies who will  get a good laugh at your nano-dicks too.